No, I Don’t Know Everything

A reader was taken aback the other day when I uttered the words, “I don’t know.” Three little words (actually four, since one of them is a contraction) seemed to send this poor soul reeling. As an author, I often need to utter those words because it’s a fact that I truly don’t know everything. If I did, life would be boring because there would be no challenge. Looking at the situation logically, there isn’t any way for me to read the daily output of millions of computer scientists—it’s physically impossible. Comprehending and remembering all that output would be a gargantuan task inconceivable in its execution. Keeping up with a modicum of that output is still an immense undertaking, but one I do with joy and a desire to know more.

Unfortunately, there seems to be a societal enmity toward those words. For a professional to utter, “I don’t know” seems to diminish the professional’s stature both with peers and those the professional serves. We expect our professionals to have answers (the correct ones) at all times, which is clearly unattainable. Yet, uttering those words requires courage and someone uttering them should be admired for being truthful, at least.

Of course, uttering the words and doing something about the utterance are two different situations. Generally, after uttering the phrase, I feel obliged to do something about it, assuming that the question is within my purview of interests (which range widely). Most professionals, curiosity piqued, will delve into the abyss and come back with an answer after some period of study. However, by that time the questioner has often pursued other interests, leaving the professional to wonder whether the question really was important.

The answer is always important, if for no other reason than the professional has added new knowledge and opened new avenues of intellectual exploration. Even so, a little patience on the part of the questioner would have been nice. Any voyage of discovery takes time, no matter how mundane the trip might appear at first. In fact, many of my most memorable discoveries came as the result of a seemingly routine question on the part of a reader.

When I utter the words, “I don’t know” to you as a reader, it doesn’t mean I lack experience or knowledge—it simply means that I haven’t yet explored the area of information you desire. In many cases, I’ll take time at some point to explore the area and present you with my opinion on it, but you’ll have to be patient until I’m able to discover the answer for you. In the meantime, it’s my hope that you’ll continue to ask questions that cause me to utter, “I don’t know.”

 

This Year’s Personal Flower Garden

Spring came later than normal this year and it has been quite cold and wet. As I discussed in Enjoying My Own Personal Flower Garden, Rebecca has created a beautiful flower garden for me. I go there during the spring, summer, and fall when I need a break from the office. It’s a sign of the most sincere respect of my need for privacy and of her love for me. The garden is quiet, cool, and serene during the hectic summer months. I go there to contemplate life in general and when I need to think about the specifics of a book. Of course, we also enjoy time together there. Perhaps we will add some nice adirondack chairs so we can sit outside together.

Most of the flower garden came back this year. For example, the wild strawberries look just as beautiful as ever.

FlowerGarden01

We noticed something odd about the flowers this year. Not only are they more plentiful, but they’re also a darker pink than ever before. Some of the flowers almost look light red in color. I looked around online for a reason for the color change, but didn’t find one, so let me know if you have any idea of why they have changed in color this year.

Last year she had also planted some columbine for me. The flowers come in all sorts of colors and I’m delighted to have three beautiful colors to enjoy. The plants are much bigger this year and she has moved them around to provide this tricolor presentation.

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The bishop’s weed returned this year as well. The plant has gotten much bigger and has bloomed profusely.

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I’ve read a number of negative things about bishop’s weed (such as it will take over the garden), but so far we don’t seem to be having any problem with it. We’re either lucky or some condition in our garden, such as those pesky rabbits that eat absolutely everything, is keeping it under control. A few other sites tell of ways to use this plant successfully, but it’s one that you should probably enjoy from afar.

One of my favorite non-flowering plants is silver mound. Rebecca has tried a number of times to get this plant to stick around and she’s had some success, but last year’s plant succumbed to the drought. So, I have three new silver mound plants to enjoy this year (they’re so nice that the garden just doesn’t seem complete without them).

FlowerGarden03

A new offering this year is the English daisy. It’s quite pretty. Various places I’ve looked online have told me to enjoy it this year because it may not return next year. In England, it’s actually considered a bit of a weed, but something this pretty shouldn’t be called a weed.

FlowerGarden05

I also received new color of coral bells (also called coralbells) with a dark pink flower. It’s not just the flower that is a different color, but the leaves as well. Even when these plants aren’t blooming, they present an interesting leaf shape and add to the splendor of the garden.

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Sharing the garden with me for the first time are the chickens. They come by and feed under the bird feeder (picking up all of the seeds the wild birds leave and reducing the weed count as a result). Of course, they’re curious as to why I’m just sitting there when there are so many lovely bugs to eat and wonder whether I might not just serve a purpose by petting them instead of being quiet. They really are funny birds.

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Our friend left behind a pair of his boots to use as planters last summer. Rebecca has made full use of them. We now have boot planters on the patio.

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Defining the Benefits of Failure

In a society that values success above anything else, it seems a bit odd to talk about one’s failures as being beneficial. Even so, failure is beneficial because it helps define what is possible and what is not. Failure helps shape the expectations of those who experience and use it in a positive way to produce a better result the next time. In fact, failure is the greatest teacher of all and something to be embraced rather than shunned. Of course, this sounds quite counterintuitive and perhaps even a bit bizarre, but it’s a fact. All true success comes through a path strewn with failure.

When you consider the role of a technical writer, part of that role is to fail. Readers pay me to play with various technologies—to try to perform various tasks using a variety of techniques. When I find something that works, it’s time to put it into words that the reader can understand and absorb quickly. Failures almost never appear in books except in the form of Notes, Tips, and Warnings (just in case you wondering about the sources of those bits of text). A technical writer fails until a success is achieved and then documents the success so the reader need not fail. So, when you think about it, at least part of the requirement for my occupation is the ability to fail gracefully and to keep trying until a success is achieved.

Failure has even shaped my writing and the techniques employed to produce useful books. Previous posts such as, Methods of Learning and Developing the Reader Profile, are based on failures to communicate in my earliest books. Discovering these techniques and how to apply them specifically to computer texts is an example of failure applied to produce a positive result. Of course, my technique continually evolves as I learn more through my failures.

There are many professions where failure is essential, even mandatory. For example, scientists fail constantly. In fact, Thomas Edison is reputed to have failed around 1,000 times when inventing the lightbulb. Of course, Edison turned the whole idea of failure around and simply stated that he had found 1,000 ways not to make a lightbulb. Even so, he failed. However, it’s important not to miss the significance of the failures. People actually paid Edison to fail when you think about it. They realized that he had the expertise required to eventually succeed and that the failures were simply the road to that success. The people who believed in Edison took his failures in stride, much as the man himself did.

It may surprise you to discover that many of the greatest people in history were equally robust in their failures. Abraham Lincoln is often viewed as our greatest president, and for good reason, his record speaks for itself. Yet, his record is replete with an astonishing number of failures. Viewing the record and then viewing the man makes you wonder whether Lincoln would have ultimately succeeded without that incredible list of failures.

Marie Curie also experienced more than a few failures, yet everyone knows about her because of the successes garnered after working incredibly hard to overcome obstacles that would send most people reeling. Without her work, we might not have many of the medical and other scientific advances we take for granted today. It was failure that shaped Curie, but we focus on the end of the path—the ultimate success of her experiments.

The list of famous failures goes on and I can’t even begin to scratch the surface of that list in this post. The point is that failure, not success, is the teacher of us all. Success is simply the conclusion to any particular course of education by failure. Because of my unique view of failure, it concerns me that our society has taken a course that values success over failure and uses every method possible to avoid it. Our children are taught that they’ll succeed no matter what, that failure is best avoided. The overemphasis on success to avoid the potential pain of failure is seriously hurting everyone and reduces the chance of success in the future. Failure, discover it—embrace it. What is your view of failure. Let me know at [email protected].

 

Christmas, a Time for Family

It was about this same time last year that I was preparing to shut down for the holiday season. Every year I look forward to this time of unplugging myself from all of the technology that entangles me the rest of the year. In fact, I wrote about it last year in Learning to Unplug. Taking time off provides a change of pace, makes life more enjoyable, and gives you purpose.

I was also looking over the poetry I’ve published in my blog in the past. I hope that you’re able to take time to read Christmas Remembrances and that you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Christmas truly is a time of remembrance—a time to think of what is past, what is today, and what may come tomorrow.

For the first time in a long time, Rebecca and I will actually be able to travel a bit this holiday (day trips, but travel anyway) and we plan to see some of our family during the holiday season. It’s my sincere hope that during this time of Christmas that you’re able to spend time with family and friends—that you take time to reflect a bit and unwind from your work. If you’re traveling, as we are, please travel safely and don’t be in rush to get wherever you’re going. Your family will wait and will most definitely want you to arrive safely, even if it means arriving late.

I’ll be back online on January 3rd this year, which is a bit sooner than normal. If you send me any e-mail, please be assured that I’ll answer it as quickly as possible when I return. In the meantime, please be patient and check out the blog posts for your book. It may be that my blog already has the answer you need.

Thank you, one and all, for the support you’ve lent me this past year. Writing technical books wouldn’t be very enjoyable without caring readers. You’re the reason I continue to work as hard as I do. I look forward to working with you on some amazing new ideas this upcoming year!

 

Fun is Where You Find It (Part 6)

Part of being self-sufficient is finding ways to enjoy the holidays without spending a lot of money doing it. All of the Fun is Where You Find It posts have one thing in common—they all discuss methods of having a lot of fun during the holidays (even personal holidays) without incurring a lot of debt. The Christmas holidays are often associated with spending boatloads of cash in an effort to get enough glitter to make the day special. Christmas is special all by itself and truly doesn’t require any help from the bank.

Of course, there is the act of decorating both tree and house. Some people have turned what should be a joyful occasion into a chore of extreme drudgery. In fact, I sometimes hear people ask why they should even bother, which misses the point of decorating entirely. Turning the event into a family affair where everyone has a bit of fun with the decorating is the way to have fun without spending much at all. Afterward, you can bask in the glow of a home made cheery and special for the holiday. OK, you do need to buy the tree, unless you like the artificial variety that you can store away each year. Some people prefer artificial trees as they can make less mess than a real Christmas tree, and may last longer. One of our family friends was unsure about which sort of tree to get until she started reading online reviews (like the ones you can find at Buyers Impact) to see if they could help her decide. She eventually went with an artificial tree, but we prefer real ones. It’s a personal preference, some people prefer going out to choose a different tree most years and some prefer to reuse the same one.

One of the ways to have fun is to tell the story behind ornaments as you put them on the tree. We do that each year. Some of our ornaments come from when we were first married and we’ll talk about them in light of our youth and dreams. We have ornaments we bought with pet names on them and putting the ornament on the tree brings the pet to mind. We’ll talk about the pet’s odd behavior or the time he/she turned the tree over. The point is that putting the ornaments on becomes a time of remembrance—a time of telling stories about Christmas past.

Decorating comes with special music (as most of our special events do). For us, listening to Bing Crosby’s White Christmas is an absolute must. Peter, Paul, and Mary’s Holiday Celebration is another favorite. In fact, we have a nice stack of special Christmas music, including a few oddities, such a Jingle Cats, that some would consider more annoying than joyful. The point is that listening to music as you decorate and tell stories is low cost atmosphere that helps keep things jolly.

A celebration isn’t complete without special food and we have ours. After I get the tree set up, put on the lights, and add a few ornaments, it’s off to the kitchen to make oyster stew. I only make this particular kind of oyster stew for our one day of decorating of each year, which means we really look forward to it. The fact that the food is unique to that particular day makes it quite special. I have to admit that I do spend a little more than usual to make my oyster stew, but I checked this year and the items were well under $15.00—far less than we’d spend at the restaurant.

Our all day event costs well under $70.00 and we feel the effects of it during the entire Christmas season. Yes, this is the most expensive Fun is Where You Find It post to date, but even so, given that we keep the tree up until January 6th (Epiphany, the traditional end of the Christmas holiday), the cost per day is quite low (about $1.90 per day this year) and we have a lot of fun doing it. Christmas is a time of sharing, of love, and of renewal. Put the joy back in your Christmas by taking the money back out.

What are ways that you can think of to turn the Christmas holiday chores into fun events? Do you have special keepsake traditions that you share with your family? Let me know your thoughts at [email protected].

 

In Defense of the Hometown Newspaper

I’ve talked with more than a few people who claim the newspaper is dead. In fact, many of them cite articles that say the newspaper is dead mainly because people no longer trust themselves to discover what is true and false. There are commentaries galore about the fact that newspapers can no longer make a profit and the fact that they’re completely inadequate to the task of serving a world bent on news of the moment in sound bites. There is even a Web site called Newspaper Death Watch to herald the event. I imagine that this characterization of the plight of the newspaper is unfortunately true in larger cities where there is a lack of a cohesive community and the news is important enough to garner the attention of a news wire such as Associated Press (AP). However, this dire news doesn’t consider the newspaper that focuses on small-town life (of which there are many). The fact is that there are certain newspapers that are not only alive, but doing quite well. For example, the “big city” of our community, Reedsburg (population 10,014), sports not one, but two newspapers, both of which attract enough advertising dollars to remain viable.

The hometown newspaper remains viable for a number of reasons. An obvious and often overlooked reason in our community is that the newspaper is read by the Amish, a group that is unlikely to ever read it online. A lot of us find out what’s going on in the world by reading online news sources like https://darknetmarket.com but for the Amish, very few have ever even accessed the internet, let alone use it regularly. Because at least some of the advertisement is directly focused on this group and other advertising is at least of interest to this group, the newspaper will remain viable. Advertising that doesn’t reach its target audience is useless. The Amish are just one of many groups who aren’t exactly Internet savvy-these groups will continue to provide a cushion for the hometown newspaper for the foreseeable future (long enough that I don’t need to worry about it). Interestingly enough, most of these groups also live in rural areas where they tend to have a large impact.

That being said, it is undeniable that most local newspapers are now available in online formats too. This means that if you are a local business looking to promote your products and services online then you can market your company through print and online advertisements via a local newspaper. Although it is undeniable that print marketing still holds a lot of power, if you want to get ahead of the competition in business then you absolutely need to be advertising online. Besides, nearly everyone searches for things online these days.

Smaller newspapers typically service a particular area and therefore if you want to target a particular population then newspaper marketing is a common strategy. Moreover, one industry that has unequivocally embraced online advertising is the health and wellbeing sector. Dentists for example are in high demand and therefore in order to ensure that their practices stand out from the crowd, dentists must embrace the web and produce content and advertisements that are optimized for search engines. You can learn more about local SEO for dentists by taking a look at some of the resources on the Avidon Marketing Group website.

When the newspaper content focuses on the local community and the community isn’t large enough to attract the attention of a wire service, then the newspaper is likely the only source of information for community events. If you want to know about the fire that hit the local plumber, you’ll read about it in the local newspaper, not online. Of course, some people may question the need to hear about the fire from the newspaper when Joe at the restaurant can deliver the full report. If you know anything about small towns, you know that the gossip mill is completely unreliable and that you’ll hear different stories from Ann, Zelda, and Sam before the day is out. To get the real story, you need to read the newspaper (complete with pictures no less).

It’s also important to consider the community. Hometown newspapers exist because the community wants them. Many smaller towns are family towns, where intermarriage over the years has produced a super-family of sorts. You know that Marge is a third cousin and that she’s married to Harry who owns the local lumber mill. In fact, you’ve seen them at church and in the bank any number of times and pass the time of day with them when you see them on the street. However, you don’t know that they recently had a baby until you read about it in the newspaper. In order to keep up with these extended families, people in rural communities read what happens to various family members in the newspapers. Yes, it’s really that hard to keep up with everything happening in the lives of every family member. Hometown newspapers don’t focus on the negativethey contain a mix of the good and the bad, the outrageous and the sublime. Hometown newspaper editors realize that they don’t need sensational headlines to entice the readerthey need that picture of Jeremy’s triumph at the spelling bee.

Hometown newspapers are also personalized. The articles of interest in our local newspaper are written by local authors who include their telephone number and e-mail address as part of their byline. You don’t get that kind of service with AP. The reason that hometown newspapers will survive is that they’re written by people you know-real people you can contact and interact with. These aren’t faceless actors on the world stage, but the same guy or gal that you had lunch with this afternoon. Hometown newspapers haven’t lost touch with the community. Quite the contrary, they embrace community contact.

When a hometown newspaper does run a feed from AP or one of the other news wires, they tend to personalize that content too. So, Iran is planning to block the Strait of Hormuz? Why should I care? Well, it means that the price of gas at the local Kwik Trip will go up. The association between the world stage and a local condition is a reason that the value added content of the hometown newspaper remains relevant and useful.

My wife and I actually get two newspapers. There is the local newspaper from Reedsburg and then a second newspaper from Madison that fills us in about state events. The Madison newspaper isn’t quite as personalized, but still fulfills a need. Again, there are the personalized stories about the state and then there is the audience reading the paper, which includes the Amish and other groups who aren’t online. I doubt that the Madison newspaper is in trouble either because it has too many people reading it.

Are newspapers really dead? They’re dead in large cities because the newspapers got lazy and didn’t personalize their content. Profit took the place of intimate contact with the reader and sensationalism took the place of serious reporting of all of the facts, even the good ones. The fact that these newspapers also lack a cohesive community to write about and that community does tend to have a strong online presence has conspired to make the big city newspaper obsolete. I imagine the same thing will happen to the hometown newspaper someday, but it won’t be today and it probably won’t happen in my lifetime. Do you read a hometown newspaper? What is your experience with it? Let me know at [email protected].

Developing the Reader Profile

A lot of people have written to ask me about writing books—about the techniques I use to develop a useful book. So far, all of my books are technical in nature. Not all of them are computer-related, but the majority are. The sorts of books that I write is changing and you’ll likely see me write books in other areas in the future. Whether I ever write fiction remains to be seen, but I do plan to branch out into other areas. No matter what I end up writing, I expect that I’ll use many of the same techniques when writing future books as I use to write my current books. Mainly, I need to find a way to communicate the ideas that I understand in a form that the reader can understand. It doesn’t matter what those ideas are—they exist in my head and I need to get them out of my head and into the reader’s head.

When I’m putting an outline together, I try to put myself in my reader’s shoes. Sometimes that means actually doing a little play acting and trying out things to see how I’d feel if I were the reader. Yes, conveying technology, or any other topic for that matter, means understanding the reader and how the reader feels. It means respecting the reader as a person and understanding that the reader has specific needs, as well as specific skills. Sometimes I’ll talk to the beta readers who are reading my books about issues or bounce ideas off the technical editor for my book. I’ll review materials online and see what people are discussing online. In short, I develop a profile of my reader and roll it around in my head until I can start to see a technology from the viewpoint of my reader. It’s not an easy thing to do, but it’s a necessary skill to develop.

In a way, I’m creating a relationship with what I think my reader will be. Beta readers do offer the opportunity to interact with actual readers, but my reading audience is relatively large, so it really does come down to creating a rapport with an idealized reader—one who encompasses everything I expect that my reader will be. The relationship takes form in a profile that I write down and review relatively often as I write the book. As I come across additional insights during the writing process, I develop the profile of my reader more fully. I keep constantly asking myself how I would talk about the subject at hand if I were sitting in a coffee shop (or some other relaxing environment) with the reader.

To a certain extent, I need to consider the reader’s need for self help. I can’t provide any reader with a specific answer for most problems the reader will encounter. To do so, I’d need to write immense books that no one would want to read because they’d be too bulky. I can provide the reader with knowledge and insights, but I can’t provide the reader with a precise response to any given problem because at the time I write my book, the problem is undefined. So the communication takes the form of ideas, rather than a specific procedure, in most cases.

Authors are hindered by a number of factors. The most important of these issues is the inability to communicate with the reader in real time. It’s the reason that I try to make myself so accessible through e-mail and by writing this blog. Even with these additional levels of communication, however, there are still barriers to communication. For example, I can’t easily read your body language to determine whether my response is actually helpful—I must make my best guess. When writing a book, I have to anticipate your needs and hope that my guesses are good ones because they are, in fact, guesses.

The reader profile doesn’t have to take a specific form, but it does need to provide you with a complete picture of the reader. Even if you define a few reader aspects incorrectly, having a reader profile will help you remain focused throughout the writing process on a particular reader. Here are the sorts of questions I ask myself when creating a reader profile:

 

  • What is the reader’s education level?
  • Will this reader understand these specific concepts?
  • When will the reader be reading my book?
  • How will the reader react to certain types of information?
  • Are there social biases I need to consider when communicating with this reader?
  • How does the reader view the subject at hand?
  • Is the reader likely to have language issues or special needs?
  • Will the reader be alone or part of a team?
  • How does the reader view me?


Most of my books require that I ask other questions, but this a good sampling of the sorts of questions that I ask myself. You’d think that with all of this effort spent considering my reader that I’d communicate quite well. However, there have been books where I ended up missing the reader completely with my profile. I directed the book at one audience, but another audience actually found the book more helpful and purchased more copies of it. When that happens, I get a lot of e-mail from a lot of disgruntled readers (and the online reviews are also less favorable). These failures require that I go back and review the premises on which I based my book and make corrections. I maintain statistics for the book, and if I get the chance to write an update, I tweak the reader profile accordingly to better meet the needs of the audience that purchased my book.

Anyone writing anything can benefit by creating a reader profile. If you currently write documentation, but don’t create a reader profile, I encourage you to do so because you’ll end up with a far better document as a result. As the years have passed, my profiles have gotten better, but I’m under no delusions that I’ll ever write the perfect profile. Even so, I’d never consider writing a book now without creating a reader profile first. Let me know your thoughts about using reader profiles at [email protected].

 

Remembering to Rest

It’s easy to become so involved in self-sufficiency issues that you forget to rest. Rebecca and I just finished Harvest Festival (see my Fun is Where You Find It! (Part 3) post for details), so we’ve made our big push in getting the larder filled. Of course, there is still plenty of work to do. We even have some extra pears to process this year thanks to the prolific output of our Luscious pears. With everything there is to do, self-sufficiency can quickly become more work than anticipated and definitely become work of the worst sort. Rest is necessary. You have to take time to smell the flowers and get a bit of fresh air. That’s precisely what we did this weekend when we went to Wildcat Mountain, a local state park.

Everything at the park is quite beautiful. One of my favorites there are the wildflowers. A number of them bloom in the fall:

WildcatMountain1

The tree colors haven’t peaked yet, but there are some incredibly beautiful trees. I particularly liked this pair.

WildcatMountain2

We took a picnic lunch and enjoyed a few games of Acey-Ducey (a kind of backgammon). After lunch, we went to observation point, which has an amazing vista of the farms and forest in the surrounding area. Here’s just one of many views we saw.

WildcatMountain3

You can easily suffer vertigo looking down from this height. Here’s a picture of the two of us that gives you a little better idea  of just how high we are.

WildcatMountain4

We also decided to take a bit of a hike. Wildcat Mountain has a lot of trails, some of which are more than a little difficult to traverse. Just about all of the trails require that you climb lots of stairs. Even so, the scenery is gorgeous. We decided to take the Old Settler’s Trail.

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The point is that we spent some time doing something other than preparing food for winter, even if we didn’t get to rest the entire day. Part of your self-sufficiency planning has to go into rest. Without proper rest, you’ll make mistakes and your self-sufficiency plans will quickly become grueling work. Keep things fun! Let me know how you rest after a hard work session at [email protected].

 

Making Self-Sufficiency Relationships Work

A comment I regularly receive is that people can’t understand how Rebecca and I can work so closely together and for so many years. (We recently celebrated 31 wonderful years together, 25 of which we’ve worked in business together and 13 of which we’ve been self-sufficient.) Of course, there isn’t any hard and fast answer to this question and what works for us is unlikely to work for anyone else.

However, I think you could boil some of the key elements down to a few words, such as mutual respect. We do odd things like say, “Please” and “Thank you.” I say these things are odd because I don’t know that many couples exercise the option to show each other courtesy. We also expect that we’ll fail and that the other person will also failthat forgiveness is both necessary and desired. If people simply respected each other and employed courtesy freely, I’m sure the divorce rate would decrease. Worrying more about the other person than yourself has gone out of style, unfortunately, so I’m sure the divorce lawyers such as Simon Law attorneys who are skiled in this area, have nothing to worry about.

Divorcing is obviously not what the future couples had in mind when they married each other, but let’s face it, it happens, and the only way to get through it is to make sure both sides are treated fairly – that is the primary purpose of marital dissolution and the lawyers who can help with this approach the matter with both firmness and compassion because they recognize the vast amount of stress that one might feel going through a divorce and having their dreams for a happy home life sent into disarray. Moreover, with more and more couples choosing to get prenuptial agreements than ever before, getting an amicable divorce has never been easier. Provided that the prenuptial agreement has been checked over and validated by a team of prenup lawyers, then any property and assets owned by a couple should be able to be divided up in a mutually convenient manner.

That is not all though. Personally, I think that kinder divorces are going to become more commonplace. This is why divorce lawyers such as Peters And May are appointed to help those out who need a case settling. Divorce doesn’t have to mean hatred of the other, fairness should always play a part no matter the circumstances.

Rebecca has a special talent though that’s the topic of today’s post. She makes the mundane seem quite spectacular. Every year she creates a rock garden for me. It’s the first thing I see from the window when I get up in the morning and the last thing I see each night. I won’t share the window view, howeverthat’s exclusively for me. Here is a ground level view of some of the highlights of the garden. One of my current favorites is the Scottish bluebells:

ScottishBluebells

The purple flowers really show up nicely. They’re getting tall and spiky now. Another colorful member of the rock garden is the blanket flower shown here:

BlanketFlowers

From a color perspective, they remind me of a larger version of the Indian paintbrush that grows natively around here. We need to plant the blanket flower each year (the Scottish bluebells come back on their own each year).

The rock garden has a lot of shade, so Rebecca plants sedums freely in it. The blue spruce sedum is flowering right now. The yellowish flowers are a contrast to the rest of the plant and make it look quite fancy as shown here:

BlueSpruceSeedum

The autumn joy sedums are also quite pretty. The variegated version adds some lovely color to the rock garden as shown here:

AutumnJoySeedum

At the front of this part of the rock garden is a John Creech sedum. All of these sedums will last through the winter. Rebecca normally covers them with leaves. However, if I ever found them in precisely the same spot for more than two years in a row, I’d be amazed. Rebecca loves to move things around.

A final offering is the Japanese painted fern. it looks a bit metallic in some respects as shown here:

JapaneesePaintedFern

These are young ferns. As they mature, the center will take on a more reddish hue. I’m looking forward to seeing what they look like later.

The care that Rebecca takes in maintaining this rock garden (and all of our other gardens) tells me a great deal about her love for me. That, in turn, makes it easier to overlook the rocks in the road we take together. I can’t imagine working anywhere without my wife. Together, the two of us make an amazing team.

If you’re going to enjoy your self-sufficiency, you need to come up with a plan to maintain your relationships. Being courteous helps, but taking time to care is better. Can you imagine working with your significant other for 25 years? I certainly hope that you’ve found the same joy that I have. Write me about your best experiences at [email protected].